In the initial stages of my research into covert narcissism, I stumbled upon the term "flying monkeys.”

This concept shed light on the betrayal I experienced from someone I thought was a close confidant and friend at work. It also prompted a reevaluation of all my relationships connected to two covert narcissists in my life. The moment I realized a large portion of the people in my life were not my friends and were in fact flying monkeys of the covert narcissists, my world was turned upside down.

The majority of my relationships consisted of flying monkeys as the two covert narcissists in my life were closely intertwined with each other, regrettably through my introduction. A coworker covert narcissist conveniently used my college friend covert narcissist to obtain information about my personal life, including triggers and vulnerabilities I shared with him during my college years. Since she knew he was not a loyal friend (before I fully realized it), she used this “friendship” to her advantage and in fact, unbeknownst to him, he became her flying monkey as well.

Covert narcissists are able to easily recruit flying monkeys to support them through their mutual dislike of you, weaponized gift giving, acts of kindness, sob stories and their vulnerable appearing facade.

Unlike their overt counterparts, covert narcissists rely heavily on flying monkeys to discreetly execute a large portion of their abuse. In a cowardly manner, they use other people to fulfill their malicious agenda to avoid the spotlight and make their narcissistic behavior more difficult to detect.

For this reason and more, covert narcissists are far more malevolent than overt narcissists.

This is why I made it my mission to raise awareness, validate and aid in the healing process of those who have endured similar abuse at the hands of a covert narcissist and their flying monkeys.