Unmasking the Covert Narcissist’s Cunning Behavior
The “Nice” Narcissist
The covert narcissist’s abusive behavior can go unrecognized and undetected for years because they are nice to everyone around them- except you.
So why did they choose to single YOU out for their abuse?
The covert narcissist feels threatened by you.
Whether it is your authenticity, empathy, intelligence, accolades, ability to relate to others and/or ability to readily establish relationships without the need for manipulation - they loathe it.
Furthermore, the covert narcissist(s) knows that:
You see them for the monster they truly are.
Whether you spotlighted their malevolent behavior or called them out on the abuse they knowingly inflicted on you, you exposed the fragile core identity they work tirelessly to cloak on a daily basis.
In fact, an early clue you are dealing with a covert narcissist is that:
They will gaslight and blame shift their way out of an apology.
An emotionally healthy person apologizes when they have done something wrong or realizes they have hurt you.
The covert narcissist reacts to your hurt and concerns with annoyance and resentment. They will employ the classic lines of:
“That never happened.”
“I never said that.”
“You are imagining things.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
“How could you think I am capable of such a thing?!”
In order to deflect from the shame and insecurity they are experiencing in YOUR moment of hurt, they react with the above statements to assuage their fragile ego.
By shifting the sentiment of shame onto you, they wash their hands clean of any culpability and accountability. They also use this perceived “attack” to their ego as an opportunity to vengefully plot against and systematically destroy you.
The covert narcissist will weaponize your vulnerabilities against you and embark on a smear campaign to discredit your character and sanity with the goal of provoking reactive abuse.
They do all of this to prove to others (and falsely reassure themselves) that YOU are the problem.
Sound familiar?
The TFM Transformation Course can help.
The Narcissist’s Prayer
That didn’t happen
..and if it did, it wasn’t that bad
..and if it was, that’s not a big deal
..and if it is, that’s not my fault
..and if it was, I didn’t mean it
..and if I did, YOU DESERVED IT.
DAYNA CRAIG
A Wolf in Sheeps Clothing
Fact or Fiction:
The Covert Narcissist’s Version of Reality
If you're looking to learn about more covert narcissism, you're not alone. It is estimated 1 in 6 people have narcissism.
In my experience, that number is even higher when taking into account covert narcissists. The prevalence is probably somewhere around 1 in 4 people. Many individuals have come across covert narcissists in their lives—often times unbeknownst to them because of how well masked and camouflaged they are within our society.
For instance, they can present as the coworker that buys a cake for everyone’s birthday in the office, an active church parishioner who hosts regular charity drives or the “friend” that routinely makes self deprecating remarks to get reassurance.
It is NOT the usual loud, boisterous, “LOOK AT ME!” person in the room.
The objectives of this page are to educate you on how to: